Trailer Park Boys Are Back In Town

  • Ben Kaplan: This magazine is being picked up in licensed cannabis retail locations across the country. Have you been shopping recently in Canada for legal weed?

    Ricky: I like to go in and check the stuff out. I don’t buy a whole lot though. I supply myself with my own stuff.

    Julian: I’ve been getting into edibles. The last time I went to jail—and going to jail out of shape isn’t fun—I decided that I was going to start working out again. Edibles help me with my cardio.

  • BK: I didn’t know edibles did that.

    Julian: I was smoking a lot of Ricky’s dope, but edibles are better. There’s a tip for people who like to work out.

    Bubbles: I don’t smoke a lot of weed, but I like going to the stores because they put labels on the weed. When Ricky hands you a joint, you don’t know if it’s light or will take you right to the moon and you shit yourself. Like the government weed, that’s 10mg. You know how fucked up you’re going to get. With Ricky’s stuff, it’s rolling the dice.

  • BK: Do you have any cannabis advice for kind readers?

    Ricky: There’s different strains for whatever you’re up to. If you’re chilling at home watching movies, get banged up on some indica. If you want to build some shit, try sativa. Hash is great if you want to paint or do anything crazy.

    Bubbles: What about banging, Ricky?

    Ricky: Hash is nice for banging.

  • BK: Bubbles, maybe you can speak to our readers who are more novices in the cannabis space?

    Bubbles: Don’t take unidentified weed and homemade hash or eat anything if you have a friend like Ricky.

    BK: How come?

    Bubbles: I end up floating around like I’m on goddamned Mars I’m so high. Ricky gave me a sucker one time. I took a couple licks and he made it in a bucket with paint and mushroom juice or whatever and the next thing I know, I’m riding a unicorn around on planet whatever!

    Ricky: I like the edibles with the BCD. It makes me smarter and a lot faster when I’m running from the cops.

    Bubbles: You’re not faster, Ricky.

    Ricky: It feels like I am. Maybe I’m not. I don’t know.

  • Ben Kaplan: I know you know how to party. What are your summer plans?

    Ricky: I’m building a crazy pinata filled with pre-rolled joints of weed and that has little liquor bottles in it and when you smash it open, you don’t know what you’re going to smoke.

    Julian: You’re not building another weed pinata, are you?

    Ricky: I’ve got too.

    Julian: I’ve got four quarts of liquor and I’m going to drink every one of them until I pass out—probably after I blast off fireworks for three or four hours.

    Bubbles: Oh, wow. I was going to go down behind the mall and have a picnic, but I guess I’ll be drunk out of my mind on liquor and shooting fireworks off.

    Julian: Sounds like a good time to me.

  • BK: You guys definitely know how to throw summertime ragers. This year, we have to be careful because of the pandemic, but can we reflect back on good times past?

    Julian: The fireworks for our fifteenth anniversary were pretty crazy. We burned a trailer down.

    Ricky: That was a bit of a shit show actually.

    Bubbles: I think we hung out with Tragically Hip on one Canada Day. Or did I imagine that?

    Ricky: If we did that, that was probably the best one.

  • BK: What makes the summertime so awesome?

    Ricky: One great thing is you can pass out on the street or in a field and you don’t have to worry about dying.

    Bubbles: That’s definitely one of the perks—you don’t have to worry about freezing to death.

    Julian: You can light huge bonfires and get the barbecues going. I think in terms of drunk style, it’s the best time to drink—period.

    Ricky: Women are wearing Daisy Duke shorts and bikini tops. It’s perfect.

    Bubbles: All the firefighters have their tops off...

  • BK: Has COVID put a damper on your fun?

    Ricky: It definitely screwed us up a bit. I was living in the woods for awhile and we can’t see Julian, but Bubbs and I are OK.

    Bubbles: Ricky was eating a diet of squirrels. How many a week? 15?

    Ricky: I don’t want to talk about that, it gives me flashbacks.

    Bubbles: Wild ducks and salmon; a couple trout, rabbit—a lot of squirrels.

    Julian: I had a great time during COVID. I was able to find a house where people had gone away to Europe and I looked after their house for months. It was incredible. We had a full bar, a big giant deep freeze full of steaks and pork chops and pizzas. I had a great time, but I should’ve been getting paid.

    Bubbles: It’s just been horseshit after horseshit. Ricky living in the woods eating beavers and Julian squatting in some rich person’s house and inevitably I always get left alone and the shitty part is I can’t let the kitties out.

  • BK: How are the kitties?

    Bubbles: I had to build 146 tiny little kittie masks. It’s been a goddamn nightmare.

  • BK: When you look back on 20 years of trials and tribulations, what surprises you the most about your success?

    Bubbles: It’s a shock that it’s been twenty years because Julian potentially fucked up the contracts over and over again. I still don’t have a pot to piss in.

    Julian: We could’ve talked to some lawyers, but lawyers cost money and usually you can Google stuff like this, but the contracts are a little complicated.

    Ricky: That’s why people go to school for eight fucking years, to read them.

    Julian: They say you can find everything on Google. I tried.

    Ricky: That’s why we’re not retired.

    Julian: Usually Hollywood actors after twenty years have a mansion and twenty cars and live in Beverly Hills. We don’t have much.

    Ricky: I’m surprised we’re still alive.

  • BK: What were audiences connecting with on your show?

    Ricky: They can learn from us—how to be kind, and all about family, and also how to tell someone to fuck off.

    Julian: People have crazy mortgages and car leases and all that crap. We don’t have any of that stuff and I find we’re happier than most people. Most people would like to be like us.

    Bubbes: I’m sure everyone is very jealous of us, Julian.

  • BK: Things are opening up now. Who are the most famous Canadians you've partied with and, if you could choose anyone to party with this summer, who would it be?

    Julian: The Tragically Hip, those guys we partied with a bunch of times. And Denny Doherty from the Mommas and the Poppas. He was awesome.

    Ricky: The D-man was awesome.

    Julian: Sebastian Bach is fun to party with.

    Ricky: He’s full-tilt. If there was a gas pedal, he’d be fucking pinned right to the floor.

    Bubbles: Alex Lifeson is a great person to party with. Burton Cummings. Our Lady Peace. We went on tour with OLP.

    Ricky: Jay Baruchel likes to party. He can knock back the weed pretty good. And Nickelback. Julian tried to join Nickelback.

    Julian: I can’t sing so I didn’t do that, and I don’t know how many NHL players we partied with over the years.

    Bubbles: It’s all a big blur. Joe Thorton, Paul Coffey. We’re big fans of the NHL.

  • BK: I certainly appreciate your time and getting the chance to meet you guys. How do we keep up with the latest and greatest Trailer Park Boys adventures?

    Bubbles: is where we have everything. Camera people came and shot a whole season and we might be going back to jail this summer, another season of that so check out

    Ricky: Yes, sir. SwearNet.come. Get the app.

    Julian: We also have a tour coming in Christmas.

    Bubbles: I didn’t know about that.

    Julian: It’s all I could get this year.

    Bubbles: How much am I getting paid?

    Julian: I’m going to figure that out, Bubbs. Due time.

  • BK: Last words to Canadian pot smokers?

    Bubbles: Thank you for twenty years of watching our bullshit.

    Julian: Thank you for buying us liquor drinks at the bars.

    Ricky: Thanks for the free weed and hash. It’s been amazing.

    Julian: We could’ve moved to the States and been living in big mansions in Beverly Hills, but I’m glad we stayed in Sunnyvale.

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